Running

Maybe there wasn't a clear purpose to this blog... (start the excuses for falling behind now!)

...Er, maybe I won't this time. I feel I should have some sort of direction though. So, howabout I include the things I like, "yay!"

I recently did my first endurance run on Saturday (July 14-15, 2012). It was a 24-hour ragnar/relay all trail run - I'm not getting that old yet! I am still so young not even 25-years-old, I should be doing these kind of things. They make me happy and who doesn't like being happy. I will tell you this, it was quite the experience, which I won't go into detail about. Other than that, we placed 4th our of 11-12 teams. Plus, we pushed through to hit 50 laps (5K loops) reaching 155-miles total, which I made 27.9 of them my accomplishment. My first ultra - kinda.

I went for a recovery run three days later on Wednesday and  I was happy I hit an almost 5K (3.03) in a sub-23 min time. There is another 5K coming soon (Saturday) and I am looking to place a good place.

3.02 in 22:01

I wish I could write everything coming passed my mind, but I don't want to bore whomever. I just wish I had more time - in time maybe?

My phone just died and I don't know where my chord is... grr.

I plan to do some tweaking: up my mileage and train harder, eat better, be better.

Let's do this!

Unmotivated...

Stuck in a rut, for sure. I feel so behind - things are piling up - and I am suffocating. I am way too care-free right now. I want to know how to care, again. I wish I never moved back to Griffith. It seems to have thrown everything out of place. I am glad me and Amanda are at our new place. I am budgeting my money more (still wish I had more) and I am becoming more proactive with things. However, there are still things that I feel need to be improved, of course. Other than the typical lazy day, I have been having lazy week. I feel so unmotivated in some areas, and they are not the ones I should be slacking on. I want to feel refreshed - anybody have any suggestions?

I want to feel again...

Slow, steady breathes.

I pride myself on who I am -- in all honesty I am unhappy, at times. You know the saying "one step forward, two steps back?" Well, that is me. I want to improve on things, but I procrastinate so much more than I ever have. When did I become lazy? I bet I have written a blog like this thousands of times, yet, I do nothing -- or I do and do not keep with it.

Pathetic.

I need to start going the extra mile, and another mile thereafter. Can I start over?

I am going to seriously make these changes, which will better my overall life. More so, those who are involved in my life. I am going to set some goals:

• Be happier
• Stop procrastinating
• Be more optimistic
• Stop judging
• Be more productive
• Run more
• Get work done earlier
• Excel better in school and work
• Invest more

I feel if I can start with this small list I can work towards my big goals:

• Buy a new car
• Get better at guitar
• Perfect my Spanish and learn another new language 
• Improve my writing skills
• Advance my knowledge in science(s)

Let's see how this goes...

Bad Dreams

I feel like I messed up becoming an adult, that is if even you can even call me one know. Is there a list of criteria you must fulfill? If so, I think I am lacking in a couple. I feel like my posts as of lately, and if not forever (up to this date in time), have been quite - whiny? I feel irresponsible about all my responsibilities, as well. I am late on everything, and to some point drastically behind in some (i.e. bills, knowledge, life...) to where I feel I cannot catch up.

I was thinking about when I was a kid -- teenager to be exact -- and while high school was [Hell] I liked that time. I explored many parts of my life and contributed to a ton of things. I am nowhere lazier now than when I was a teenager; however, my point is that I feel some of this adult stuff is for the birds. (<--- adult idiomatic expression)

I wish I went about things differently. I wish I was more strategic about many aspects of my life, rather than being so blatantly blissful to my surroundings. I never should have been involved with solicited credit that young, I should have had a better savings account, I should have kept some previous jobs, I should not have thought I could coast. Now, since I went against everything I should have done I am struggling now. I can divert my attention away from the obvious for some time, but then there are times like these where I reach a point where I cannot understand how I going to make it.

I am trying my best (or am I?) and I still feel like I am drowning.

Stupid decisions stop ...now!

While their souls are still searching for the light...

I never felt so different in all of my life. This year has brought upon so much change, so much. I remember feeling security a couple years ago. A newly enrolled freshman at a small college, but ready for the experience. Sure, it wasn't anything comparable to a big ten campus, or anything like that; however, I still had a lot of fun and filled my life with unforgettable memories.

Now, as of recently, I feel like this year has brought upon the worst of ...things. From the passing of my grandmother and to my diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes - now to my sister and her recent medical problems. Ugh. This year blows! I mean, really - WHY!?

I feel like I am struggling in school again, too. I just want a sense of balance. I feel overwhelmed with everything around me and everything that is going on. City and Colour's "Waiting..." is playing right now and I cannot relate anymore to the words he is singing...

Being a part of something...

I am excited for today, like really excited. I think with the change of seasons (even though, technically Autumn isn't until the 23rd of September) I get way more positive and happier. I guess that is why it is my favorites season.

Purdue University - Calumet Men's Cross Country, 2011

Anyways, back to today, we pick up all our XC gear today: uniforms, new shoes, socks, warm-up suit, sweatpants, hoodies, shirts (short and long sleeve), backpacks, and skullcaps(?). I know its just stuff and makes me sound really materialistic, but it is more than that ...if you ever played on a team. Or if not, maybe. Those clothes represent something to each of us on the team. It is a sign and symbol of our hard work and determination. We will be representing a team (first in history) at many Chicago-land area meets and invitationals, and, hopefully, the CCAC Championship. It feels good to belong and to be a part of something.

On another note, (which is, again, making me sound like a stereotypical, materialistic, American) the Pumpkin Spice Latte is back at Starbucks! Yeah, I know, shut it, but it too reminds me of Autumn. Which, also means Autumn brews ...that I just happened to pick up one blend this past weekend (Sierra Neveda's Tumbler).

Now, it is time I get ready for the day, head to breakfast with Cassie, then off to my long day of classes.