Friday, August 5, 2011

Don't know where I am going ...but I am moving.

I'd like to feel like my life is so beyond the norm that I can take pride in being a pioneer; however, I do not think I am that special, nor do I want to be. I feel like my life is the worst possible ever. Why? That's simple. It is because it is happening to me and not you, and your life is not happening to me but only to you. Although, I feel that being able to confide in that exposure is what helps a little, maybe?

I thought about taking the time a removing all my previous posts, which some aren't even blog worthy (wtf is that?). Yet, I find myself unable to that. I believe it is because of my nature, well, I know it is. I have a hard time letting go - mainly physical things. I like holding onto them , whatever they may be, because I feel I could use them, may need them, but really it is because I worship nostalgia. Items that I hold onto (and I use physical loosely): music, pens, paper, entries, junk (to others), cards, photos, and whatever. I am able (which I am sure most are) to draw back to that point in time, and pull memories from it - good or bad. Yes, I am aware of my OCD, and I am okay with it. I find mine is no real harm, and I don't hoard; though, I feel some things are meant to hold onto until I wish to remove that memory, or I feel I can hold onto it myself without any sort of stimuli.

Planning out my day sometimes is a struggle, and I am about to attempt that now.

No comments: